The Day McGonagall Left Hogwarts
by CombatWars
Summary: While investigating a recent prank that left Slytherins more paranoid then Moody, McGonagall looses her mind and leaves Hogwarts. No Pairings. First Crack Fic


I've had this on my mind for a while now and I had actually typed it all on my iTouch before I decided to scrap it all and start anew. It isn't one of my best works and it is a JOINT(No, no. I was not smoking a joint when typing this. I used the actual dictionary meaning for this as in like a group project.) effort by me and my friend who wishes to remain anonymous. Basically, this was both of our idea but I typed it, hyped up on Monster Energy Drinks, Dr. Pepper, Gatorade, Cheetos, and Funyuns. The fact that I haven't slept for around 32 hours have nothing to do with the fact that I'm not thinking clearly.

* * *

><p>The Day McGonagall Left Hogwarts<p>

* * *

><p>She strode briskly down the halls as her piercingly blue eyes roamed over the gossiping students. As usual, they couldn't stop talking about the Great Hall Prank that happened two days ago. It certainly had been clever, she thought to herself, the way they mass switched all of the Slytherin's pumpkin juice with their own potion-tampered pumpkin juice. The resulting havoc only served to bring about a smile on her stern face, a sight that most students found strange. She continued until she reached the portrait leading to her House's common room.<p>

"Password?"

"Oh shut up, you great, big, flabby piece of paint and let me in right this instant!"

Too shocked to come back with a retort, the portrait slid open, revealing the brightly lit room. A great silence descended upon the students as they watched their Head of House glance at each and every student, with a frown upon her face. Some of the first years even began to shake in fright.

"Has anyone seen Mr. Potter and his associates?"

Relief came over the students as they realized that they were not the ones who were to be on the receiving end of her glare. All that came to an end when she did infact start to glare at them for refusing to answer. A lone fourth year pushed past several students in front of her and walked up to the professor.

"I saw them walking down the the library, professor." she said, with a slight tremble due to her fright. McGonagall continued her glare until she looked up at the rest of the occupants in the room, causing most of them to flinch away in fright. Without a word, she strode right back out of the room and started on her trek to the School Library.

TDMLH TDMLH TDMLH TDMLH TDMLH

"So, we wait another week or so before we try this one out. The Slytherins will start to relax and that will be when we strike." whispered Harry, as he pointed at a potion in a book he found in the library.

"Do we use another switching charm?"

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. Do you think all of them are stupid? They're bound to check their drinks from now on. The fact that they're paranoid doesn't help much but it was worth the price."

"So how do we do it then?" asked Ron.

Harry smirked. "Easy. We make it a delayed reaction and put it into their toothpaste. We have to find an ingredient that reacts with the enamels on the teeth so it won't blow up when it touches the paste. I suggest-"

"MR. POTTER! MR. WEASLEY! MS. GRANGER!"

The Trio winced as they heard their Transfiguration Professor yelling for their name out in the corridor. Hastily shoving the book into the recesses of the shelf, they hurried over to the slightly annoyed professor, giving her their best puppy-dog eyes. Taking a glance at their faces, she gave a sigh and just said, "Follow me." in a tired and worn out voice. With a glance at each other, they hurried after the professor. Harry turned to Hermione and tried to whisper inconspicuously to her.

"When we get to her classroom, hear her out before opening your mouth. If it's anything to do with the prank, follow my lead. Inform Ron."

TDMLH TDMLH TDMLH TDMLH TDMLH

Settling down in her comfy, leather seat, she glanced over her rimmed glasses to where her three favorite students were standing.

"Please, have a seat." she said, waving her hands towards the seats in front of her desk. With a glance at his friends, who relayed back to him that they were going along with his plans, he relented and sat down in the stiff wooden chair, causing his friends to do the same.

"Now," she said, leaning forward in her chair. "I want to know if you three had anything to do with that prank two days ago."

Silence met her question as the Hermione and Ron looked towards Harry for guidance. With a blank face, he answered.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Silence greeted his answer as he stared impassively at her through his own glasses. Shaking off her thoughts that were telling her to run off and let them go, she repeated her question.

"Did you, or anyone you know, get involved in the Great Hall Prank?"

"Yes." Ron and Hermione's shocked faces had been enough for her to make the connection.

"Who?" she asked with a triumphant grin.

"Malfoy, Parkinson, Greengrass, Goyle, Crabbe, Flint, Belby, and Zabini to name a few."

McGonagall's shocked face joined in with the other two.

"They pranked themselves?"

"No, you just asked me who got involved. Needless to say the whole Slytherin House was involved but you only asked for those I know."

"Then let me ask again. Do you know who initiated this prank."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A vein started to throb on her temple.

"Who did this prank?"

"I..."

"Yes?"

"I..."

"Come out with it already!"

"I...don't know what you're talking about."

Her right eye started to twitch.

"I will only ask one more time. WHO. DID. THIS?"

"Me no comprendo ingles."

"ARGHHHHH!" McGonagall screamed as she started to pull on her hair. Behind Harry, Hermione and Ron were smiling as they figured out Harry's plan. It was Rule #19849 of The Maurader's Code. Deny, Deny, and lastly but not least, Deny.

She looked back at Harry and saw the other two behind him. Her eyes lit up as she spotted Granger, the one who always looked up to teachers.

"Granger!" she barked. "Who did this?"

"I...I'm sorry Harry. I can't hold it in anymore" she cried, hiding her smirk behind her bushy hair.

McGonagall had to restrain herself from jumping into the hair and pumping her fist.

"Professor?" Hermione asked, catching the professor's attention. "I..."

She stopped as she looked at the professor who was watching her with a look that made her uncomfortable, it was almost hungrily.

"- Don't know what you're talking about." she finished. McGonagall stared at her prized student before a scared look upon her face. With a scream about demented children and demons, she ran from the room, nearly running over Snape. Snape looked at the running back of his colleague and at the Trio who had just run out of the classroom with wide eyes, stopping right in front of him. With another glance towards McGonagall's running backside, he turned towards the Trio.

"20 points for Gryffindor, for accomplishing something I've been trying to do for decades." he said, before turning around and walking towards the end of the corridor. Before he was about to turn into the dungeons, he turned back towards the still shocked trio.

"Oh, and 20 points from Gryffindor for staring at a professor and another 20 for standing in a doorway and becoming a fire hazard." With that, he swept into the dungeons with a smirk plastered on his face.


End file.
